Teaching Preschoolers How to Be Kind to Their Friends: Simple Ways to Build Caring Hearts
Kindness is one of the most important lessons young children can learn. During the preschool years, children are discovering how to make friends, share their feelings, communicate their needs, and understand that other people have feelings, too. While these skills develop over time, small everyday moments can help children learn how to treat others with care, patience, and respect.
Teaching preschoolers how to be kind to their friends goes beyond encouraging them to say “please” and “thank you.” It means helping them recognize when someone needs help, learn to share, use gentle words, and understand how their actions affect others.
At Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center, we believe early childhood education is about more than academics. It is also about nurturing compassionate, confident children who understand the importance of kindness, friendship, and respect.
1. Why Is Kindness Important in Early Childhood?
Kindness helps children build the foundation for healthy relationships. When preschoolers learn to care about others, they begin developing empathy, emotional awareness, communication skills, and cooperation.
These qualities can help children:
Build positive friendships with classmates.
Recognize and respond to other people's feelings.
Practice patience and take turns.
Resolve disagreements in more positive ways.
Develop confidence in social situations.
Create a welcoming and inclusive classroom environment.
Kindness also helps children understand that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, even when they have different interests, abilities, feelings, or opinions.
Young children are still learning how to manage their emotions and understand other perspectives. They may need reminders, practice, and adult guidance before kind behaviors become more consistent. With patience and encouragement, these everyday lessons can become meaningful lifelong habits.
2. Teach Kindness by Modeling It
One of the most effective ways to teach kindness is to demonstrate it. Preschoolers pay close attention to how adults speak, respond to challenges, and treat the people around them.
Parents and teachers can model kindness by:
Speaking respectfully, even when frustrated.
Listening when a child is trying to communicate.
Offering help to someone who needs it.
Apologizing after making a mistake.
Showing appreciation for others.
Using calm words to solve disagreements.
For example, a teacher might say, “Your friend is having trouble picking up the blocks. Let's see if we can help.” This shows children that kindness can be expressed through simple actions.
Adults can also explain their behavior aloud. Saying, “I am going to help her because she has a lot to carry,” helps children connect an action with the caring intention behind it.
Children learn that kindness is not just something adults tell them to practice. It is something they can see, experience, and imitate.
3. Encourage Children to Share and Take Turns
Sharing can be challenging for preschoolers, especially when they are excited about a favorite toy or activity. Children are still learning patience, impulse control, and how to balance their own wants with the needs of others.
Rather than expecting children to share perfectly right away, adults can help them practice taking turns and communicating respectfully.
Try these strategies:
Use a timer: Give each child a turn with a popular toy.
Practice turn-taking games: Play simple games that require children to wait and participate in order.
Offer choices: Let children choose another activity while they wait.
Use clear language: Teach phrases such as “Can I have a turn when you're finished?” and “You can use it after me.”
Praise cooperation: Recognize moments when children wait patiently or work together.
It is also important to remember that children do not have to give up every item immediately to demonstrate kindness. Adults can help them understand fairness, respect personal boundaries, and find solutions that work for everyone.
The goal is not simply to make children share. It is to help them develop the social skills that make cooperation possible.
4. Help Children Recognize Other People's Feelings
Kindness grows when children begin to understand how their words and actions affect others. Preschoolers may notice that a friend is crying or looks upset, but they may not immediately understand why or know what to do.
Adults can help children connect facial expressions, body language, and emotions.
For example, ask questions such as:
“How do you think your friend feels right now?”
“What might help someone who feels sad?”
“How would you feel if someone took your toy?”
“What could we say to help our friend feel better?”
Use everyday classroom situations to make these conversations meaningful. If a child falls and another child notices, encourage a caring response such as asking, “Are you okay?” or offering to get the teacher.
Picture books, emotion cards, pretend play, and simple storytelling can also help children explore different feelings. These activities support empathy by helping children consider experiences beyond their own.
5. Teach Children to Use Kind Words
The words children use can help build friendships or hurt someone's feelings. Teaching preschoolers positive communication gives them practical tools for expressing themselves respectfully.
Encourage children to practice phrases like:
“Would you like to play with me?”
“Can I have a turn, please?”
“Are you okay?”
“Thank you for helping me.”
“I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“Let's work together.”
“Can you help me, please?”
Children may need adults to model these phrases many times before using them independently. Try practicing through puppet shows, pretend play, and classroom conversations.
It is equally important to teach children how to express frustration without hitting, pushing, yelling at, or insulting their friends. Instead of simply telling a child what not to do, offer an alternative: “I see you're upset. Tell your friend, ‘I was still using that toy.’”
When children have words to express their needs, they can begin solving problems in safer and more respectful ways.
6. Show Children How to Include Others
Every child deserves to feel welcome and valued in the classroom. Preschoolers can learn that kindness includes making room for others, inviting classmates to participate, and respecting differences.
Teachers and parents can encourage inclusion by helping children:
Invite another child to join a game.
Make room for a classmate during group activities.
Work with different classmates during projects.
Respect differences in abilities, communication, interests, and backgrounds.
Avoid teasing or making hurtful comments.
Understand that everyone deserves respect, even when they do things differently.
For example, if a child is playing alone, a teacher might ask the group, “Would anyone like to invite a friend to build with them?”
Children should also learn that friendship does not mean everyone must play together all the time. They can choose different activities while still treating one another kindly. The goal is to build a classroom where children feel respected and have opportunities to participate without being pressured to form particular friendships.
7. Use Stories and Activities to Make Kindness Fun
Young children often learn best when lessons are interactive. Stories, games, art, and pretend play give preschoolers enjoyable ways to practice friendship skills.
Here are five simple kindness activities to try at home or in the classroom.
1. The Kindness Tree
Create a paper tree and invite children to add a leaf whenever they practice a kind action. Write or draw the action on each leaf, such as helping a friend or sharing classroom materials.
2. Read a Friendship Story
Choose a picture book about kindness, empathy, or friendship. Pause to ask how the characters feel and what they could do to help one another.
3. Puppet Friendship Theater
Use puppets to act out situations such as asking to join a game, sharing materials, or helping a sad friend. Let children suggest kind words and possible solutions.
4. Create Something Together
Invite children to make a group collage, build a block tower, or complete a large puzzle. Encourage them to share ideas, take turns, and celebrate everyone's contributions.
5. Friendship Helpers
Give children small opportunities to help classmates, such as collecting crayons, putting away toys together, or passing out supplies. Discuss how helping others makes the classroom a better place.
These activities work best when they are repeated regularly. Short, enjoyable experiences help children practice kindness naturally throughout the school day.
8. Praise Kind Actions and Encourage Positive Choices
Children benefit from knowing when they have made a thoughtful choice. When adults recognize kind behavior, they help children understand what kindness looks like in real life.
Instead of giving only general praise, describe the specific action you noticed.
For example:
“You noticed your friend needed help and offered to help. That was thoughtful.”
“You waited patiently for your turn. That showed respect.”
“You invited someone to play who was sitting alone. You helped them feel included.”
“You used your words to explain how you felt. That was a good choice.”
Specific encouragement helps children connect their actions with positive social behavior.
Kindness should not become a competition, however. Children do not need to earn the most stickers or receive the most praise to be considered good friends. Focus on individual growth, sincere effort, and opportunities to try again.
When a child makes an unkind choice, respond calmly and help them understand what happened. Explain the impact of the behavior, guide them toward a better response, and support them in repairing the situation when appropriate.
9. Help Children Resolve Conflicts Without Hurting Each Other
Disagreements are a normal part of learning to interact with others. Two preschoolers may want the same toy, disagree about the rules of a game, or become frustrated when things do not go their way.
These moments can become opportunities to teach problem-solving and respectful communication.
Try this simple four-step approach:
Pause and make sure everyone is safe. Calmly stop hitting, pushing, grabbing, or other unsafe behavior.
Listen to each child's perspective. Give children a chance to explain what happened, using simple words and supportive questions.
Help them find a solution. Suggest taking turns, choosing another toy, working together, or using a timer when appropriate.
Practice repairing the relationship. Help children offer an apology, return an item, help rebuild something, or check on a friend who was hurt.
For example, if two children want the same set of blocks, a teacher might say, “You both want to use these blocks. How can we make a plan so everyone gets a chance?”
Children may not resolve every disagreement independently, and that is okay. They are still developing the communication and self-regulation skills needed to manage difficult situations.
The goal is to teach children that conflict does not have to end a friendship. With guidance, they can learn to express their feelings, respect one another, and work toward a solution.
10. Partner With Families to Reinforce Kindness at Home
Children benefit when the adults in their lives reinforce similar values and expectations. When kindness is encouraged both at home and at school, children have more opportunities to practice the same skills in different settings.
Parents can support kindness by:
Talking about kind choices during everyday activities.
Encouraging children to help with age-appropriate household tasks.
Arranging opportunities for supervised play with other children.
Reading stories about friendship and discussing the characters' feelings.
Helping children express disappointment with words rather than hurtful actions.
Recognizing thoughtful behavior without expecting perfection.
Families can also talk about their child's day by asking questions like, “Did you help anyone today?” or “What was something kind a friend did for you?”
These conversations help children reflect on their experiences and recognize kindness as an everyday part of life.
Teachers can strengthen this partnership by sharing positive moments, discussing areas where a child needs support, and suggesting simple strategies families can practice at home.
11. How Tomlin Academy Encourages Kindness and Friendship
At Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center, we believe children deserve an environment where they can learn, grow, and develop meaningful relationships. Early childhood education is about more than preparing children academically. It is also about helping them develop the character and social skills they will carry into the future.
Through guided play, classroom routines, positive examples, and caring teacher support, children have opportunities to practice sharing, cooperation, communication, empathy, and respect.
We encourage children to recognize their own feelings, consider the feelings of others, and learn positive ways to handle disagreements. Our goal is to help create a classroom community where children feel supported as they learn how to build friendships and treat others with kindness.
We welcome children from 6 weeks to 12 years old, offering early learning and care experiences designed to support children's development at different stages.
If you are looking for childcare in Kansas City, MO, that values both learning and character development, we invite you to learn more about Tomlin Academy.
Conclusion: Small Acts of Kindness Make a Big Difference
Teaching preschoolers how to be kind to their friends begins with small, everyday moments. Sharing a toy, offering help, inviting someone to play, using gentle words, or comforting a classmate may seem like simple actions, but each one gives children an opportunity to practice compassion.
Children will not always make the kindest choice, and they will need reminders along the way. With patience, positive examples, consistent guidance, and opportunities to practice, they can gradually develop stronger friendships and healthier ways to interact with others.
When adults make kindness part of everyday life, children begin to understand that their actions matter and that everyone deserves respect.
At Tomlin Academy, we believe that raising confident learners also means nurturing caring hearts. Every kind word and thoughtful action helps build a classroom community where children can learn, belong, and grow together.
Give Your Child a Caring Place to Learn and Grow
Looking for quality early childhood education in Kansas City? Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center is here to support your child's learning, social development, and growing independence.
9700 Holmes Rd., Kansas City, MO 64131
816-785-7878
Tomlin Academy — More Than Just a Daycare! ❤️💙💛
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