Helping Young Children Make New Friends at School
Making friends is an important part of early childhood. For young children, friendships provide opportunities to practice communication, cooperation, empathy, sharing, problem-solving, and emotional skills.
However, making a new friend doesn't always come naturally. Some children quickly walk up to others and start playing, while others may feel shy, nervous, or unsure about how to join a group.
As children settle into a new school year, parents and teachers can help make these experiences easier by giving children the tools and confidence they need to connect with others.
At Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center, we understand that every child has a unique personality and social style. Our goal is to create a welcoming environment where children can develop meaningful relationships while learning how to interact respectfully with their classmates.
🌟 Why Friendships Matter in Early Childhood
Friendships are about more than simply having someone to play with.
Through interactions with other children, young learners have opportunities to practice important skills such as:
Taking turns
Sharing
Listening
Communicating
Cooperating
Showing empathy
Solving disagreements
Expressing feelings
Respecting boundaries
Working together
These experiences help children develop social and emotional skills that will continue to benefit them as they grow.
💛 Remember That Every Child Makes Friends Differently
There is no single "right" way for a child to make friends.
Some children are naturally outgoing and may introduce themselves immediately. Others may prefer to watch and observe before joining an activity.
A quiet child isn't necessarily struggling socially. They may simply need more time to become comfortable.
Parents can help by avoiding pressure and instead offering encouragement:
"It's okay to feel shy. You can take your time. When you're ready, you can ask if you can play."
Giving children time to warm up can help them feel more comfortable and confident.
🗣️ Teach Simple Ways to Start a Conversation
Young children may want to make friends but simply don't know what to say.
Parents can practice simple phrases at home, such as:
"Can I play with you?"
"What's your name?"
"Do you want to play with me?"
"Can I have a turn when you're finished?"
"Do you want to build a tower together?"
Role-playing these conversations can make them feel more natural when children encounter similar situations at school.
🧸 Encourage Children to Join Activities
Shared activities are often one of the easiest ways for children to make connections.
Instead of expecting a child to walk up and simply say, "Do you want to be my friend?" encourage them to participate in an activity where interaction happens naturally.
Children can connect while:
Building with blocks
Coloring
Reading books
Playing pretend
Completing puzzles
Playing outside
Singing songs
Dancing
Creating art
Playing simple group games
When children have a common activity, they have something to talk about and share.
🤝 Teach Children How to Share and Take Turns
Sharing and taking turns can sometimes be difficult for young children because they are still developing self-control and understanding other people's perspectives.
Parents and teachers can practice these skills through everyday activities.
For example:
"Your friend is using the truck right now. You can have a turn when they're finished."
Or:
"Let's find another block while we wait for a turn."
Children gradually learn that friendships involve cooperation and that they don't always get what they want immediately.
❤️ Help Children Recognize Other People's Feelings
Friendship also requires empathy.
Young children can learn to notice how others might be feeling.
Ask questions such as:
"How do you think your friend feels?"
"What could we do to help?"
"How would you feel if that happened to you?"
"What could you say to make your friend feel better?"
Reading books together is another wonderful way to explore emotions and friendship.
Talk about the characters' feelings and discuss how they treat one another.
🌱 Teach Children That Disagreements Are Normal
Even the best friendships have disagreements.
A child might become upset because someone won't share a toy, doesn't want to play the same game, or accidentally hurts their feelings.
These moments are opportunities to teach children how to communicate and solve problems.
Encourage phrases such as:
"I don't like that."
"Please stop."
"Can we take turns?"
"Let's choose something we both want to play."
"I'm sorry."
Children don't need to solve every disagreement perfectly. They need opportunities to practice.
🧠 Help Children Build Confidence
Sometimes children hesitate to make friends because they are worried about being rejected or making a mistake.
Positive encouragement can help.
Celebrate small social successes:
"I noticed you asked your friend to play today!"
"You introduced yourself. That was brave!"
"You shared your toys with your friend."
"You worked together to build that tower!"
Recognizing these moments helps children understand that they are capable of connecting with others.
👩🏽🏫 How Teachers Support Friendships in the Classroom
A quality early childhood classroom provides children with many opportunities to interact with their peers.
At Tomlin Academy, teachers can intentionally create experiences that encourage children to work together, communicate, share, and participate in group activities.
Teachers can also help children who may need additional support entering a group.
For example, a teacher might say:
"Look, your classmates are building a block tower. Would you like to help them?"
This gentle guidance gives a child a starting point without forcing them into an uncomfortable situation.
Teachers also help children navigate disagreements, practice appropriate communication, and understand how their actions affect others.
🏠 How Parents Can Help at Home
Families can support friendship-building skills even when children aren't at school.
Try:
Practice Social Situations
Use pretend play to practice meeting someone new, asking to play, sharing, and taking turns.
Arrange Opportunities to Play
Age-appropriate playdates, community activities, playground visits, and extracurricular activities can give children additional opportunities to interact with peers.
Model Positive Relationships
Children learn by watching adults. Demonstrate kindness, listening, cooperation, and respectful communication in your own relationships.
Talk About Their Day
Instead of only asking, "Did you have fun?" try specific questions:
"Who did you play with today?"
"What did you and your friends do?"
"Did anyone make you laugh?"
"Did you help someone today?"
These conversations can help children reflect on their social experiences.
🌈 Don't Expect Every Child to Have a Best Friend Immediately
Friendships take time.
A child may spend several days or weeks simply observing classmates before forming a connection. Another child may play with different classmates each day.
Both can be perfectly normal parts of social development.
The goal isn't to rush children into having a best friend. The goal is to help them feel comfortable interacting with others and confident enough to build relationships at their own pace.
🌟 Small Moments Can Lead to Meaningful Friendships
A friendship might begin with something as simple as:
"Can I play?"
A shared puzzle.
A block tower built together.
A laugh during a song.
A book read side by side.
A child helping another child pick up their toys.
These small moments give children opportunities to discover that school is not only a place to learn—it is also a place where they can connect, cooperate, belong, and build relationships.
💙 Building Friendships at Tomlin Academy
At Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center, we believe social development is an important part of a child's early learning experience.
Our classrooms provide opportunities for children to learn alongside their peers, participate in group activities, practice communication, and develop positive relationships with teachers and classmates.
We want every child to feel welcomed, supported, valued, and confident as they grow.
Because sometimes a child's first school friend becomes the person who makes them excited to come to school each morning. 💛💙❤️
📍 Learn More About Tomlin Academy
Tomlin Academy Early Childhood Center provides a nurturing early learning environment for children in Kansas City, Missouri, with opportunities to grow academically, socially, emotionally, and independently.
📍 9700 Holmes Rd., Kansas City, MO 64131
📞 816-785-7878
Interested in learning more about our programs?
Comments